Life Coaching by Eileen Lang

The holiday season brings on a sense of excitement but, can also bring stress and family conflict. We all have an image about how we view this season in our heads. Often we are trying to achieve that perfect holiday experience. We also often assume that others are experiencing that perfect holiday and we struggle when ours fails to meet that expectation. When we can have realistic expectations that are achievable it is so much easier to accept the positive we can get from this season.

The kind of holiday experience we are looking for changes through the course of our lives and with our lifestyles changes. It is important to look at what your expectations are for this season and realistically evaluate what you need to do to achieve the results you want. It is also important to see it as a process and stop to check in with yourself frequently to see if you need to re-evaluate your plans or your expectations.

It is easy sometimes to just keep running forward to meet the demands of the season and not to pay attention to what is going on with you. Taking on too much can create stress and get in the way of your normal schedule interfering with sleep and healthy eating patterns. If you plan ahead you can look at what possible stress or demands you have and make a plan how best to meet those demands. How best can you take care of yourself so that you are free to enjoy this season.

Where you need to be at this time is in the planning stage. There will be future blogs on the other topics of the season. But, for now it is time to check in with yourself and significant others to see what you want this holiday season to look like. Is your vision realistic and what do you need to get there? How will you take care of yourself to best enjoy this season? Do you need to look at your view of what this holiday season should look like and adjust that view to match where you are this year? Have there been changes in your life this year and do you need to figure out how that effects your holiday season? Big or small changes sometimes cause a big rippling effect of change and you need to accommodate how that change fits into the whole picture this season. Did you have a positive change like getting married or being in a relationship where now you have to deal with both sets of family? Did you move away from family or friends or did other family members move and now you have to figure out how to handle the holidays long distance or accommodate out of town visitors? Did you lose a loved one such a parent, partner or a child? Did you go through a break up or a divorce? Did you have a child which is both exciting but, sometimes also stressful handling the pressures of the holidays? Do you have a special needs child, this season can add more stress to how you cope and care for your child with your child? Did you stop drinking or using drugs this year and need to have a relapse prevention plan to get through the holidays? Are you or a loved one struggling with a medical condition? Did you or your partner lose their job and there are financial issues? What in your life has changed and do you to need to change your picture in your head of what this season looks like? If you can outline what you need to deal with you can have a plan. It is better to have plan than to try and avoid what has changed or what stress is in your life.

Taking time throughout this season to check in with yourself and take care of yourself can help you enjoy this season to the fullest. Remember it is often in those quiet small moments that you renew yourself and experience your true enjoyment of the holiday season.